So interesting how quickly
just a couple of words
a mere pittance, really
once uttered, unfurled
can blindside with a pugilist’s speed
How they cut into a heart
like a heated blade
rip a mood from the light
and force it back in the shade
they're just a couple of words
so what harm can they do?
but once they are revealed
ah, calamity ensues...
for when faced with the truth,
there’s no place to hide
and thus returns all the fears
that cause the spirit inside
to stumble back once again
into the solace
of the wounded abyss for a while
- Mood:
cynical
- Mood:
relieved
- Mood: calm
- Mood:
contemplative
- Mood: contemplative
- Mood:
blah
- Mood:
bored
- Mood: blah
- Mood: blah
He woke me up one morning
said it’s time to go
I didn't wait pack my bags or nothin’
just followed him out the door
I told him I was tired
asked him where we goin'
he looked at me and smiled back
just trust me girl, let's roll
I took the leap right then
the leap of faith
made a decision and took off
without a minute to waste
I took a chance on trust
hoped it wouldn’t haunt me
it’s all or nothin’ not lookin’ back
look me up check it out can’t you see
I’m free
I dropped a coin and read it
when it landed on my hand
I didn't like the side up that it gave me
But heads or tails don't tell me if I can
If money is the answer
then the question is a joke
so I tossed the coin into a well
decided that I'd choose both
I took the leap right then
the leap of faith
made a decision and took off
without a minute to waste
I took a chance on trust
hoped it wouldn’t haunt me
it’s all or nothin’ not lookin’ back
look me up check it out can’t you see
I’m free
wasted minutes
empty hours
they cost you nothing
but that's the problem
if you don't start then
you never get there
I've been stagnant and it's time to take
a leap of faith
I fell asleep on Friday
woke up on a Monday
Wondered where the weekend had gone
when I put the coffee on
then I realized that
I spent the days all dreamin’
opened my eyes up awake now
Time to get this show on the road
I took the leap right then
the leap of faith
made a decision and took off
without a minute to waste
I took a chance on trust
hoped it wouldn’t haunt me
it’s all or nothin’ not lookin’ back
look me up check it out can’t you see
I’m free
I’m free
- Mood:
sleepy
Stronger
Is this a word that I don’t know?
Is it the light that makes me glow?
Can I ignite what isn't so?
I’m asking God and me
What must I do to move my feet?
I see the ocean waves and
they call out to me
"Put a toe in in child..."
I know I can
but here I stand
up against the wall between me
and believing
You're stronger He says
...am I stronger?
What shall I do to make it right?
Put up my dukes and give a fight?
Should I force down the fear
pretend it really isn't here?
I see the ocean waves and
they call out to me
"Put a toe in in child..."
I know I can
but here I stand
up against the wall between me
and believing
How do I dance this dance?
make myself take this chance
Oh God I need the answers
I'm standing at this precipice
but I haven't got a plan for this
Do I just jump right in?
What if I cannot swim?
I ask myself, "Does it really matter?"
Then inside I hear the answer!
If I falter...
I shall grow gills and breathe the water!
Stronger
My will is stronger
I search within for recklessness
the will that led me to excess
I've got to reach inside
and free transform it
focus, reshape - and not ignore it
This is the gift I have
This is the best in me
My blessed impulsivity
the curse the pain the risk in me
I've got to use it for this test
Dig down and wield my fearlessness
I see the ocean waves and
they call out to me
"Put a toe in in child..."
I know I can
leap without a plan
So I jump in
and my light inside is bright tonight
Because I'm stronger...
than the wall that stood between me
and believing
- Mood:
quixotic
- Mood: calm
- Mood: calm
I hear the whisper
The power within me
The child alive
in the older world-wise
The call to arms
anguished and pained
but still there through it all
dormant once, yet unchanged
It says, Let me out!
I'm still here, I remain!
so I beg it
speak louder to me once again
Let me live, set me free
give me will to 'become'
let the final field
of this battle be won
A war over fear
ancient hurt and guilt gained
destruction of self
oh, the price I have paid
I implore the small whisper
please crescendo to shout
let me tear asunder this enemy- doubt
Let me cry out!
I stand my ground. Behold!
my triumph, my roar
victorious survivor
defeated no more
- Mood: thoughtful
to see with the heart
one must open the mind
change beliefs within self
that we are confined
release our tight grasp
upon upon what we've been told
because love is not something
to be bought or sold
for it is what we are
what we all can achieve
if we live inside love
we set ourselves free
I'm here now,
but my love's unspoken
I'm too shy to say it
but I cannot save it
...It bleeds from my skin
because where we first met
is where I begin
and I love you
with all that I am
it doesnt make any sense
I only know that I can...
so what if I said I need you
and what if I told you
that I breathe your air
and what if I said
that I need you there
for me?
there for me...
and what will I do
If you just won't listen
tell me how can I dance
if you can't feel my rythm?
and what will I know
If you can't understand?
can I hold on anyway
If you wont take my hand?
and baby tell me how'
I can go on from right now
If I find out
that you just don't care?
are my fears justified
or would you really be there?
See, all I am inside
is the love I can not hide
So would watching leave
make me just want to die?
Would not having you there
be a feeling I can't bear?
what if if I say I need you
and you really can't be there?
or if I do this...
would I make you fear me?
not come near me...
hate, regret me?
try hard to forget me?
when all I want to do
is to love you...
My love
Needs no catch phrase
Requires no dots in between
No selling point to make it better
I give it away for free
My Love
Needs no marketing plan
Or grandiose subversive schemes
My L.O.V.E. is REAL and it exists
No dots should be placed in between
My Love
Is a child, the heart of me
Whispering softly, clinging tight
Kissing me once, then twice more
Saying "Mommy, Goodnight"
My Love
Is a temple, built strong
Lies cannot touch it, no rises above them
So copy my words- I will not fear
Share them with all...because they are truth, they are LOVE.
Love is HERE.
My Love
Is built on joy
Not disharmonic practices
I walk the talk, I am the words I say
Im not built upon, riddles, rumor and belittling
I am truth, and Love lives HERE today.
My love
Is vibrant with passion
It does not look for the bad in you...it seeks the better
I can't love one tomorrow, this one today.
Another so long as you do what I say
I love all of you...all the time. Even when you hurt me.
This is what family does.
My love
It is real.
And I don't need to defend it.
Or place dots in between it...to make it more acceptable.
I don't need a golden man to profess it
Because it is IN ME ....I am blessed!
It is in my soul. And I know what love is.
It is my unbreakable heart. It is in my truth.
My consistency. My steadfast adherence.
In my wide open eyes
That can see ...can see truth inside lies.
I see how we behave, and this is NOT what love is.
This is duplicitious secret telling...willful meddling...it's not love...
The love is inside of me.
Can you hear me?
CAN YOU HEAR LOVE SPEAK?
Believe me or don't....I can't make you see.
It is what is real
Not imaginary pixels on computer screen.
I ain't crazy. I just see thru to the truth and the heart of each of you.
And I love you still, all the more.
COPY MY WORDS AND SHARE THEM.
XEN HAS SPOKEN.
Michael Jackson, was often called a liar. Crazy. A monster underneath the bed. Not believed. He was innocent. But surrounded by a world of people who looked to use him. Think about that.
Then lable me crazy.
the force of the tide
unstoppable
endless
revolving
relentless
tempestuous
inescapable
dangerous
irreplaceable
but soothing
and gentle
mighty
and dreadful
necessary for growth
bringing change
molding the landscape
carving it away
I command the moon
I color the skies
bring down mighty sailors
and their foolish pride
then I rock them to sleep
with my motion
with song
with loving sway
I am the calm
and the the unexpected storm
That was here all along.
- Mood: complacent
Jumping and bumping
Is what I did
In a world
full of dreamers
And big time thinkers
Paranoia bleeders
Manipulation seethers
Happy-go-lucky's
And bringers of joy
Guys who play children
Girls who play boys
Starry eyed lovers
And blazing eyed haters
Angels of Mercy
Hell fire makers
Bullies with power
And victims galore
I loved it all
I hated it more
Dancing and dreaming
I hoped without fear
Got crushed
Rose again
Thinking I belong here
I clung to the friendship
Of a kindhearted man
Trying with earnest
To be what I am
Finding out
That my noise
Is more than they can stand
I stirred up storms
With my laughter
My tears
My beliefs and my ideas
And silent time fears
My art and my talent
My push come to shove
My wisdom, my wit
or complete lack thereof
I cried out, accept me!
With my loud crazy voice
But all I am is trouble
So do I have any
Other choice?
Must I go?
Can I stay?
I don't see a way
Not today
Not today...
"Forgiven"
You know how us Catholic girls can be
We make up for so much time a little too late
I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priests
I'll see you next Sunday
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
I sang Alleluia in the choir
I confessed my darkest deeds to an envious man
My brothers they never went blind for what they did
But I may as well have
In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son
I had one more stupid question
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
What I learned I rejected but I believe again
I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition
If I jump in this fountain, will I be forgiven
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
We all had delusions in our head
We all had our minds made up for us
We had to believe in something
So we did
Destroying Words
You think you have my summation
But they are only verbs
You havent lived my life
Nobody has breathed my air
You don't know what the truth really is
Unless you were actually there
They don't know me
...and I boy, can see
With open eyes, knowledge, belief
The ulterior motives
That lie underneath
Arrogance
Is an ugly thing
And breaking my trust is worse, my friend
Crossing my line
Makes a hurtle, it's true
Show me I'm worth anything
Make me forgive now
Time to follow through
Don't play these games
I know them all
I was jaded
But you pursuaded
Me to rise above the fall
Don't give me 'anyway'
GIVE ME BECAUSE
Don't make me feel unworthy
of being loved
If you ever knew me
If you think you know me
Own what you said
Not these secondhand tales in your head
Not these lost souls who fill it
With error and dread
The lie becomes the truth.
Now, I'm going to bed.
Sleep, precious solace
where I long to be
place where my dreams
transform to reality
where safety is found
and my fear is gone
while my future ahead
plays out to old songs
where lingering hurt
is the past and now ended
where hope covers wounds
as the new learning mends it
it's where riddles reveal
simple twists of fate
and time slows down
as love conquers hate
where grains of sand
become tears of sorrow
cried for yesterdays
giving birth to tomorrow
it's where you exist
yet somehow, I do not
and villains are vanquished
in hard battles fought
where heroes on steeds
their swords raised high
swiftly race to the aid
of my weak plaintive cries
where night begets day
as my dark becomes light
within sleep, I am freed
from all my fruitless plights
in this soft sanctuary
in this warm place to hide
within my vision quest
where like-souls collide
on white angel wings
in my dreams...
...I can fly.
- Mood: sleepy
Come sit with me for a story
It will be short;
maybe boring
I'm well aware I should keep
my mouth shut
but I've decided I want to
let you see what I know
and they don't
and if you listen real close,
then you'll know
I'm hiding inside
All the hurt that don't show
I always laugh when I'm cryin
act like a fool
when I'm dying
and always hoping the hurt
just won't show
I'm always scared
yes, I'm lying
to myself that I'm fine, and
don't you see...
you're my friend
if I tell you?
there's nothing left here but me
...and she's gone, too.
Don't worry 'bout me for saying
and there's no blame
that I'm laying
I swear there's nothing
to take on yourself
I make my rules when I switch
system default,
it's a bitch
cuz if I tell you that I'm
feeling pain
you'll notice that I'm not ok...
because I own what I do
while I'm still broken in two
I always laugh when I'm cryin
act like a fool
as I'm dying
I'm always hoping the hurt
just won't show
I'm always scared
yes, I'm lying
to myself that I'm fine, and
don't you see...
...when I tell you?
there's nothing left here but me
...and she's gone, too.
- Mood: melancholy
Dive into my treacherous ocean
and swim within my turqoise sea
brave the rushing waves, the undertow
to find the rare and truest part of me
Sometimes steady and often relentless
in the silent calm before the storm
my foam will lazily lap in repetition
against inviting soft and sandy shores
But go farther out, and you can open sail
and look to conquer this hidden mighty sea
set your compass point to the darker water
where the madness, the monster roams free
In the powerful tempest of my inner chaos
she lives and breathes fury, swimming faster
under black misty night her lighting will strike
as thunder booms out, "I have no master!"
A siren call will draw you to my core
look closely and follow the starry night
the rough and untamed waters will heave
but if you steer the steady clipper right
The map will lead to my heart's infinity
where you can reach the vortex within my blue
port the ship toward my angry maelstrom
where the eye of my hurricane can see you
Defiantly set down your anchor without care
as a swarthy marauder, with arrogant flair
seek out the lored beast lurking just underneath
you will find a mere tiny mermaid there
- Mood: pensive
the words, just escape me
and all there is to do
is to feel
but I cant let you know
I'm embarassed
to have it show
on the outside of me
on the visible canvas
of my heart
I can turn off the sound
turn down the mic
and grapple
with my emotions
and weep silently inside
I can toss black paint
on my masterpiece
and delete the text
and refuse to speak
while I listen to the world
unaffected
laugh loudly around me
somehow it's a comfort
when Im numb,
and still crying
I'm raw, yet refined
invisible but defined
I'm dying
yet I'm living
and where will you be?
Soon...gone
no longer there for me
and theres nothing to be done
and nothing to be said
nothing left
inside my head
but the lonely rest
....that just is
- Mood: sad
a word of advice
to a cynical society
please consider
acceptance
to be a gift
and tolerance
to be a virtue
if you can wrap yourself
around
the ideal
raise your fabled
quixotic sword
and with a haughty cry
say
I shall love it all.
I will accept
the many faults...
I will embrace
the good
and within sight
of the entirety
I will count this person
acceptable
after all
If you can dare
to dream
of a place
where the norm
can change
if you ride the steed
and cry out
I will live inside utopia!
and to damned
with what is
supposedly
...unacceptable
the irony
of this apparent
foolishness
is that strength
begins
it grows from within
and
we all can become
the hero
the unstoppable force
And perhaps...
the world's windmill
can indeed
be chased
and conquered
afterall
- Mood: contemplative
the trappings
of an extraordinary life
I found
I had merely
an ordinary heart
beating fast
when I'd run
and slow
when I stopped
God built it
with hope
and my mother
made it soft
it pushed love
with the last beat
and joy
with it's start
it cried out
in despair
if it was
ripped apart
mine could break
into pieces
but with string
it could mend
and it shuddered
with hope
and ached
now and again
it was my own
worst enemy
as oft as
best friend
it would leap
with my laugh
and could bear
or could bend
mine could hear
and could see
often worn
on my sleeve
it was
the very worst
and the best
part of me
it self defined
could render me blind
and won
mighty battles
with my mind
it could be
your gift
or stay mine
but was always
the real thing
deep inside
yes mine could bleed
just like
yours bleeds
it could love more
than hate feeds
and it could harden
or be set free
see,
just like yours
mine was
ordinary
*excessive celebration commences*
- Mood:
ecstatic
A Story, Remembrances of A Delirious Mind
Poem by Robert Mendez Jr.
Call me Roy,
or so I told a girl
and from a fevered mind
I spoke…
In a Global Economy
As Camoy would say, and one day would define
And by design I paraphrase and take liberties with
an idea of riches the idea of money
An ambiguous construct which is at best cryptic
Strategic Core activities which include
Innovation a notion of improvement
Finance, the science of providing
and of course the management of the corporate
Organism
Functioning, replicating
On a planetary scale in reeeeeeeal
time.
In pursuit of…
What?
That eventually everything will taste like
chicken.
That I could be in
San Francisco, Prague, Madrid, Paris, or London
but seeming as if I just stepped out the door.
Divested of all diversity
To each his own a clone of a clone of a
clone
on and on the pendulum swings
And I hear Metric sing…
Is it ever gonna be enough.
Someone, please get me some
Medicine
I’ll take the red pill
Subscribe to the philosophy
Inscribed in the
Book of The Friend
Where Sister Decklar simply states,
but as always
I paraphrase
McFuckit,
chickmcinfuckit my chickmcnugget (LOL!!!)
And stick it in the McRibit
Kick It as you would…
A Twinkie,
Yeah…
That’s the ticket
and squish it
Between your fingers
But don’t lick it
cause it’s
Tainted
Tainted with the sugary blandness
McGoogle it,
imagine NEO…
Kung-Fu grip it
Pa Kua Chang, Baguazhang followed by
Fu tou tui.
A never ending
spinning
whirling Mevlevi Dervish
to the tune
of Paradise Circus.
I’m commin Home,
I hear the lady sing…
“It's unfortunate that when we feel a storm,
we can roll ourselves over 'cause we're uncomfortable
Oh well the devil makes us sin
But we like it when we're spinning, in his grin…”
I’ll sleep to ease this pain…
The world is spinning, spinning
Spinning.
the soft harmony
a rise to
my challenge
to conquer
and silence me
an able right
to my many wrongs
the words
and rythm
of my songs
the solace once sought
for a mind
that never stops
an ache
in my chest
and the calm
for my unrest
a finer,
truer measure
to judge me best
an echo
that repeats my soul
a missing piece
that makes me whole
the angle and axis
of my spinning globe
a guide
for my drive
the temperance
for my pride
the haven of safety
in which I can hide
a gentle push
that I seem to require
and everything
I need, desire
my leap of faith
as I walk across this fire
my question
the answer
and the level higher
the very best
that I'll ever know
the solid earth
in which I can grow
a hand grasping mine
that won't let go
the truth I tell
and lies that I won't
the old me, remade anew
my tenacity
a will
to improve
this needle skipping
in my groove
it is you...
it is you...
it is you...
pushed me to a new awakening
of how far I have come
so I examined and embraced it
then about faced to the sun
I saw inside that empty black
my every need and every lack
faced the adbsurdity of my own smack
enough's enough I said
and then
I gathered force and clapped my hands
I chose to change the strain
I turned my back to it
myself renamed
said it aloud but only to myself this time
I became
my redefinition
you want me broken
I can tell
you need me broken
but I'm sorry
I can't breathe that hell even one more day
be the fragile flower
for who's sake?
I cannot waste
my power to quicken your need
to be my mother
to be the only lifeline I will seek
my every step away
from you
I bleed
but I don't die
sad by your distance
but I don't cry
I know you need me broken
don't say you don't
save me all your stoic pride
I've had enough
to be my guide here on my own
and I don't blame you if you call me foolish
say I'm stupid
say I'm wrong
but I'm not asking for your opinion
and I'm not writing you this song
I'm writing for me!
This girl is stronger than the poet
you can covet
weeping enlessly for nothing
a fragile flower
kept in glass
I smash it down
I pluck my pretty petals out
and I still need you
but not enough to seethe my ache
to you for free
you may not like it
but I've decided
to be what I want
without your guidance
I can change without your succor
I'll be just fine
you're not my mother
I'm doing fine
and no, I'm not insane
in fact
its not for you to say at all
you haven't been there
to form an opinion
so don't you dare try to call me broken!
don't you dare
form those words in reference to me!
keep it to yourself
...you do your thing
jumped into juxteposition
would I be happier with where I am?
I really doubt it
If every stumble these feet made
had not sent me crashing to the fray
would I be standing tall right now?
I surely doubt it
Who can say which turn to take
who can prove which path to choose
who can ultimately make the call
on if you're safe or if you loose
who can make their hard decisions
without negative consequences
who can live a life devoid of hurt or pain?
surely that's not how the game
was ever meant to be played
No one is perfect
not even you
not even me
But I am gladly
stepping up to bat again
not irked a bit by my score suffering
every time I'm here I get much closer
to hitting it to the outfield
watch me hit it
look for me to win it
across the home plate
if you can catch me
I'd be surprised
but I dare you to try
to beat me there just one more time
I'm in the game
to play it
as your opponent
or your component
all I ask is own it
use me to your best descretion
friend
but in the end
I'll still be running
the bases
With or without you
I play the game
not so long ago
where I laid there in my bed
my dog curled up on the floor beside me
and the wind brushing ominous whiskers
on the cracked and perspiring glass
of my bedroom window
i remember how alone i felt
he was gone
and all my dreams i had built up
everything i wanted
had left with him
i knew my life would change
and the thought left me sick inside
a ball of twisted pain
and regret
and failure
and as the tv set at the foot of a bed
that i once shared with him
glowed in the everlasting darkness
of what my life had become
as the turmoil and chaos
waited for me
just outside my bedroom door
i felt hope leave me
my heart exhaled its last wracking breath
and with the death rattle
i gave up on myself
since then, my life did change
into a day by day routine
of coping with the loss of dreams
never glowing with life
never darkened with excessive pain
no, just a set of motions
automatonic actions
as i completed what was needed
only able to do the bare minimum
to keep life moving on
just a squirrel trying to get a nut
without hope
my zest for living life was gone
people moved in and out of my world
like revolving shades of grey
ghostly sources
of meager comfort to me
but my heart knew that my dreams
would still never happen
and as the days soldiered on
i realized
i just didnt care anymore
until someone, quite unexpectedly
painted a rainbow
on my dark and cloudy sky
and dared me to think
to dream
to hope
to start over and live again
because if this isnt the end of dreaming
and if..if maybe he
was out there
then perhaps i hadn't lost everything
afterall
and maybe he's the one i was waiting for
...not the one i lost
and maybe
i wouldn't have to accept
a less extraordinary life
and even though
i know its a long shot
hes a shooting star
and im just me
but even so...
i felt the desire grow
to give the hail mary pass
in the chaos
and break through the traffic
and i might loose
but also..just maybe i will win
so whether i catch his shooting star
or not
just the possibility that i could...is enough
to give spark
to the cold dead embers of my will
to try to achive it
and when i set my mind
my heart in motion
i give my all
because i feel ...hopeful
that beautiful feeling alone
is far better destiny
than the apathy
ive slowly become
adapted to
My life is so cosmically unfair. Here I am. Trying to sleep. In a dark peaceful house all by myself...and I am absolutely thwarted. Why?
Because I'm missing my kids driving me nuts, and when this house is empty...I feel empty too.
Because I'm burnt out on creativity. I've never written so much poetry at one setting and it emotionally drains me.
Because my ex husband has been doing his best to keep any possbility of me sleeping from ever coming to fruition. I mean, I'm sure he realizes I'm trying to sleep. Yet I keep getting his silly self congradulatory texts messages describing his spaghetti he made tonight. I drift off..then zap. drift off...zap. It makes me want to cry a little. And yet, on the flip side of that, I know he thinks I don't mind his messages. He's probably right. In some weird way it keeps me company I suppose. *sigh* but it makes me reminisce and that's not really good for my sleep either.
and lastly,
Because I can't help but wonder if I've pissed someone off. I wouldn't blame him. I just want to smack myself sometimes and go wtf Jeanne? I wish I could get the ache I feel to go away. I've been trying to just ignore it, but I can't and it's pissing me off. I'm all mixed up inside now. I thought I had my universe all figured out and I was happy in general with my life. Now I've opened myself up to this ...thing...and now here we go....and fuck if I haven't tried to shut it off- even just to test whether or not it's the real thing. It won't shut off...no instead it gnaws at me. I have no clue how to mediate the raw intensity of what ever the hell this is. And no clue what's going on in his head either. It sucks to be constantly questioning what you say, what you do...who you are. Am I still pretty? Do I look old? Would any of my insecurty even matter? Probably not. But then again...? and then the worst fear- pressure. Did I apply too much? I know I'm feeling his. See? It takes me down this path where I can really squick myself. I've been well seasoned with matters like this, and yet I am an uber idiot around this one person. So what in the hell is my problem?
My problem? Loss of autonomy.
It's lack of control. I hate not being in control.
Emotions. I exert control over them, so that they cannot rule me. See, my life was so much simpler when I just didn't let myself have any of them to begin with. A week ago I was blissfully unaware of any of this ...stuff. And now? I'm a flaming ball of angst.
For that reason alone, I both adore this, and yet also deeply hate how I feel right now all at the same time.
- Mood: tired
my gross rediculosity
a monstrous superflous fiend
with frenzied stressed ability
a hyperkinetic extroverted introspective
cornucopia of tumulting verbiage
set on hyperactive speed
etched in existentialisms
it springs to act out the waxed fanaticism
that compels the over verbose thing to yell
these ranting raving spells
yes, it's the ultimate
in jarring wit
and I'd stop it if I gave a shit
about the loser prose composer overdosing text
'til sprawled upon the throne
in fits of verbalizing vapid
vomitous extremes, she quits!!
Christ Allmighty!...She finally fucking quits!
My vast rediculosity
is super high viscocity
the depth and breadth of what it thinks it needs
to express itself is too extreme
so with a lumenescent and effervescent
bubbling spring of wordy glee
it fails to contain the overabundent
acts of eager tenancity
My willful rediculosity
..is AWESOME! when its frothing,
spitting lies
and now it's New and Improved and sold in Grande size
and it's freaking fan-fucking-tastic, drastic ultramatic
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, Dammit!!
engergized with new Warp 9 and phasers set to stun
and built for fun now Ludicrous Speed drive!
thank you drive through
yes it comes with curly fries or wings
or tasty cheese hyperboles
full of pining whining soliloqies
of an overactive imagination
on an idealistic word shopping spree
The verse is filmed in audastic 3-D aspect
for action-packed and plastic IMAX screens
all programmed remotely by MMPORG playing geeks
Can you believe this is how I speak?
look how it matches my frustration level
my impulsive total lack of self control
it melts the metal
an unshackled mess it's taking over
city highrise slate skyscrapers
better shoot it down with planes
For shame! I can't complain or tame
the beast that holds the pen
I mean I probably could, but then
it just wouldn't feel right if I blamed it
and denied the world quick subjucation
under deplorable excessive quantities
of my precious self expressive honesty?
my ultimate rediculosity
would like to thank itself and you
for supporting troops of overwhelming force
in military occupationand undermedication
of my mouth, my hands
enabling tempestuous feats, demands
egredious misuse of words we speak,
written down on sheets
Slipped out from the cage
it's loose but sadly, see
no use trying to catch it, trust me
I can't shut it's mouth...its so frustrating
they need to be freed
because the words are me
they need to be freed
because the words are me
- Mood: silly
about you
because ...damn.
there are so many reasons
I really don't know
how to put it
another way
my crazy words
tumble out instead
of rationaled smart living
I only know I have to put them down
right here
right now
let it in quick
then get it out
Or I really will go nuts
someday
please don't fret
this is my way
bleeding out art
when the muse gives sway
and you'd better believe
...you sway me
and let wild and untamed thoughts
run amok
run rampant
run their course
insanity?
maybe
in all honesty
I don't care
I like to spin here
dancing
twirling my hair
examing feeling
glorifying
everything
using text to paint
my crazy insane heart
upon the world
I can't help it
I need this type of
disposition
to sink into life
turn around
then turn the meaning
inside out
My muse shifts round
to match my mood
and I'd love to really share
my fear
that my brief flirting
with my sadness
led me right back here
I'm really crazy
insanely mad
about you
it didn't dissapear
I feel elation at this
realization
that my happiness is
still right here
so please forgive this tendency
I like to ponder
to think about you endlessly
or it may seem that way
sometimes
that's just my mind
acting on inspiration
I have to heed the call
because if I don't give this muse my all
then I'm no artist
I'm just crazy
so put up with
my foolish word gluts
don't feel worried
I won't cut off my ear
so never fear
underneath my oozing crazy
there's a fine sane woman here
I really don't know
how to put it
another way
so if you'd understand me
pretty please
because I really am
crazy
about you
and
I'm no fool
...I just can't help it
she wanders out here
the soft sandy beach
beneath her feet
alone in thoughts
she knows she ought not
but she can't help herself
when she's out here alone
she has to keep occupied.
like a moth to flame
she burns in her pain
adoring her own agony
til she goes insane
she 'makes love to the half empty glass'
in her heart
then dissects each part
and when she is done
she returns to the start
and repeats
and repeats
reinflicting the wounds
to hear her heart beat
as if she needs pain
to remind herself
why she's out here again
it's been like this
always on this beach
ever since she was marooned
on this island of herself
a long time ago...
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